I admit, I haven't been getting my sleeps for the last 24 hours...
It's the mood that is fooling me still...
Those random song reminds me of that idiot!! (Only Jennifer know who am I referring too)
It's the nights when tears still roll down lying on bed texting only good friend of mine... Unknowingly, that good friend of mine do have relationship problems too... But never the less, for the advice and comfortable from this random friend...
In the midst of texting the random friend, I gave Bestie Jennifer a msg... I'm glad she text me over the issue, she's always ready to hear me... I guess everyone has their own stories of life... Is the matter of time and do I still wanna pick myself up from where I fall..
Sharing the bits and pieces with the random friend somehow, somewhere along the lines, I feel I'm more fortunate then the random friend... Well, the random friend has been with me through the nights and making sure I'm alright before the random friend went to bed... Lying on my bed, listening to those songs play at my mp3, trying very hard not to weep so much... Trying to plaster the smile in front of everyone else, so much for being fake...
Along the lines, I almost suffocated and wanted to give up in whatever I have in life... But there's always a person whom I love told me to be strong and be brave... That's no other then my late paternal granny... She was the voice inside me to keep me going, hoping I'm fine here and praying hard that I'm happy in life...
Apparently, not easy to let go of someone whom really have struck in your mind... Feelings may fade... The bitter sweet journey which I've taste it in many ways, hopefully it make me wiser and happier in times to come or what may come!
I can't wait for the arrival for my 20 years of life...
19 years of life is really what I've learn so hard in life... But many thanks to all my dearies friends for being here with me stay up all late to text me and bring me back to earth... I don't bear to let this chapter close...
Moving on this time around is so tough... But I know I'd have to slowly move on... ...
But I've too I guess, Mr A. Tan, if you are reading this, I wish you well, no hard feelings towards you... If you are happy so do I...
It's another 25 more days to my Forever Young Birthday...
I promise to come up with my birthday wish-list soon...
Well, I know, I've been wayy too busy uhh... *Laughs*
On the side note, this week alone is really like hell to me, I've been trying very hard to get this guy outta my mind...
I admit, it's been days without an good night sleep, I've cried into my sleep, lying on the bed listen to those random song and think of a few issues on hand... Which might well explain to the lack of sleep and therefore, I've since then drag myself up every morning to work!
Sitting in front of my desktop, trying very hard not to let my mind think of those sad issue, trying very hard to be strong over my workstation, trying very hard to get my things done and go home! Apparently, work load is getting heavier which might explains to those OT hours come close to 7.30pm... For I know that, keeping myself busy was merely an ignorance to those problems which I'm face...
Thinking through every night... I've choose to forget but my heart is holding on the stone which I haven't been buried down and look forward to the coming days... Been really down to earth, but there's always friends who offer me a ear or even sms-es away! Many thanks! Like for bestie Jennifer, who has been really been there ready to listen to me when I was at my workstation...
Colleagues and boss know that I'm in the blue that they didn't come to provoke me but I seriously thank them for the calls/sms-es away a few table distance away... :) To admit, I'm stress out by work load and over job issue which I might leave the job to get myself a better income job...
Never the less, this week alone I've been going out after working hours with colleagues to dinner and movie which really makes me feel better by now... I guess, there's always a time for things to settle down... Like what I've to this someone over the sms-es last night, thanks for listening to me uhh... Wonderful colleague of mine! :)
Well, the month is coming to the end...
Hopefully everything will be fine soon...
And obviously, I promise to come up with my birthday-wish-list too...
I've tried very hard to get myself to sleep recently...
I'm glad that somehow, somewhere a long the lines, there are friends of mine being here with me just to listen to what I have to say and making sure I'm alright...
I'm pleased that many things have been taking control in my hands...
Many issues, I've buried right at the bottom and never will I go and dig it every once I'm free...
Too many things I wanna do and I do hope that time permits me to do so... Else I'm be still having OT in the office every weekdays... :( *Crossed fingers*
To Bestie Jennifer:
Thank you for being here with me making sure that I'm always back on the earth... Lending me your ears just to listen to what I have to say... It's all these that is bringing our friendship closer and thanks for all 15 years being here with me either a msg/call away... Thank you for the walk to the park and never the less those shopping treats and dinner treats and I reckon many to come alright... Thanks for being one in a million... :)
To Doctor Janice:
Well, I know you have been busy with school and exams, never the less, thanks for dropping by my blog to get all my updates... And I've been seeing you like less then 5 times a year lehx... I shall see you soon for those shopping, la kopi and not forgetting the cam-whore that we didn't have since econs agos manz...
To Bestie Evelyn:
You have always been my nicest sister in msg/ call away... Making sure I'm okay and what-nots... Never failed in lending me your ears whenever I turn to you... Thanks for being here just to listen to me and give me your advices... :)
To AIA colleagues Swee Kee,Chrissy,Kai Ting, Nicholas, Kar Mun:
Thanks for being the sweetest colleagues you all can be! Especially Nicholas for being the nicest guy in the group, thanks for all those waiting session during the knock off or OT hours! Hahs! Hurhur! Kar Mun, being the nice friend and colleague whom neve fail in making me laugh outta my bluesy days! Thanks for the jokes and laughter! :)
To all that I didn't mention:
Well, you boys/girls you know who you are... Thanks for all the care and sms-es/MSN, that you people have send me... I'm still kicking here alright... :) Thanks for hopping by my blog to get my fresh updates... See ya soon...
Shutting this door was never easy, for you once lead me on or even twice of it, you still choose to ignore and let everything be over just like letting off a balloon...
Would you be here to tell me "don't worry" every is getting fine...
Would you merely choose to tell me "call you later", but never will it happen again...
It's the night that I was lying on my bed and let the tears flows down again...
Would you be here to tell me " don't cry because its over", or you merely choose to take my presence for granted...
You no longer leave a smile on my face at the end of the day, instead bringing me to a night which I feel so random and thinking of you at that very moment, hurts me loads...
I admit there are times when I do think about him, but I really do hope that with the new year, I'd be stronger than I am now... The song reminds me not just of him, but of how I cannot seem to be able to shake off that tingling feeling of just wanting closure in some form... But, like what Leona Lewis sang, I really hope that I'd be "Better in Time"... ...
Since there's no more you and me, It's time I let you go So I can be free... And live my life how it should be, No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you... ... Yes I will!
Maybe seeing you being happy that's all I want for you...
Pretending to be strong when I was over the Msn with you wasn't easy at all...
Holding back the tears, fighting with the tears flowing down makes me feel real upset when I know everything is ended...
Like what I've always tell you, "what matters is just being happy"!
I do hope to usher in the new year with a better TinGz I use to be...
2008 is coming to a close.... ....
What a year!!
For that the learning journey is always a bittersweet rhythm...
I have pop by Bestie Alice's blog and saw her last post with her granny...
I'm sad but I do that Alice's granny will be happy in other world...
She's one of the granny who watch me grow up and shower me with food I like when she's still around... Alice's granny never fail showing love and concern to me and my youngest brother...
It's was this song that bring me through my failed relationship...
It had reminded me so much of my former relationship with someone, that I cried as I was listening to this song, and that time, the ex bf and I weren't an item yet... ...
Now, as I listen to this song, it only reminds me of our relationship... The irony of it all!!!!!
"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities." - Janos Arany
Then maybe perhaps what we had shared was not Love, for he had began to think that I was getting impossible, and how we were getting impossible... ... How he simply gave up trying, cos we were "too different for each other... ..."
It would be good if we could all fit into the imperfections of the significant other, or how it would be good to be similar, share similar interests, share similiar personalities... But, Love is about making compromises, sacrifices and having plenty of communication... Love isn't just about giving things up when things doesn't seem to be looking rosy... Neither it is about comparing... Love should be unconditional... I gave unconditionally, yet in the end, he tells me it's over...
He has made the choice, and it's been a month odd... It's a battle everyday to keep the mind busy... There are some days where I seriously am soo busy that I don't even have time to ponder... Yet there are the days when the mind wanders...
Moving on this time around is so tough... But I know I'd have to slowly move on... ...
For... ...
The Love that he had wanted is simply just far too perfect...
No matter how hard I've tried, I'd never ever be able to perfect it... ...
Maybe, just maybe, the kinda Love that I thought I had, was nothing but just a dream, and like how when one is dreaming in their sleep, he/she would eventually have to wake up... ...
Sooner or later, I'd have to wake up and face the music... ...
My Bad!!! Have been busy with the mundanes of Life (WorkWorkWork/OutWithFriends/ChillingOutAtHome...) so I haven't had the time to update my blog!
My bad! *PuLLs EaRs* =P
Over the past weekdays, I've been thus very busy with Rowena's wedding, which that's the reason why I haven't got time to update over here... Well seeing her getting married on the day was something which called happiness for her and her husband... She have tie the knot which her husband after 6 years of relationship... It's really blissful for her in getting a huband whom treat her real well... :)
Let the picture talk...
The bride with 8 sisters... I'm the youngest among all alright! Hurhur!
Me with the bride! She's the best Jie Jie I ever had:) Never fail in helping me along when I was trouble with life and what-nots! Jie Jie, May you stay happy always:)
The entire lot of us!!! :)
The joy that we have shared during Rowena's Wedding:)
Everyone has to settle down one day and I do hope that someone nice would appear in life sooner or later! But still I *hearts* my single hood life...
Many joy I shared during the first week of November, well that includes a mini birthday celebration with Nicholas Seah during last Monday... Colleagues and I treated him to cafe cartel for lunch and of course we have given him his belated bday birthday this week! Nicholas, must be touch over the pressie that somehow I've capture a few photos of him holing his special bday gift! Hahs!
Never the less, I've also been meeting up with Darling Jennifer for shopping session or even those random walk at the park! This was the things that I can't do when I was attached, but now everything has ended and I've come to know, that friends are more important, they are always here to be with you being your pillar...
Darling Jennifer, was the one whom never fail to be with me through thick and thin in my life... She has seen through my utmost moments and share my joys one whom I could share anything with and she'll always be ready to be here... We have shared a total of 15 years of friendship, the bonding we have and we're always ready to be with each other no matter what happen... In TinGz dictionary, I'll try to be 24/7 for my friends who deeply need my help or my ears... I'll give them my advice and of course I want them to lead a better life of all...
Like Darling Jennifer, she has always made an effort to text me in the morning to wish me good day or whatever she use to text in when I'm on the way for work... She never fail in entertaining me while I'm at my workstation... :)
Thanks for all the time spend together just to listen to my worries and making sure that I'm alright:) I hearts you through every bits:)
Well, I'm here to complain that my feet are hurting and the credits to Nicholas Seah whom step on my feet yesterday when we was on the way to lunch and he merely said sorry so I thought my feet will be alright... Soon after lunch hour, my feet start to hurts and the bruises start to appear and I even walk over to his sit and show him my poor feet and he being kind say sorry to me!
However, today it hurt more till I can't take it and I give him a Sms, and Nicholas being the nicest guy has told me don't walk too much! *Wee* Okay, he's a nice colleague cum my ah sum! One whom carry my snack during the lunch, one whom never fail in bringing an umbrella just that I'm complain over the weather never fail to shelter me too... One whom never fail to knock off together and walk me to bus stop! How nice can a colleague be!! He's our best Ah Sum! I guess only me dare to command him to do things haha!
Okay lahx, after all he's a nice guy in our office never fail in helping me around the office whenever I call him... Mr Seah, you are heart by four girls! *Laughs*
Hopefully tomorrow will be better because I'm going to meet Bestie Jennifer for shopping cum dinner... :) I've been therefore meeting Bestie Jennifer wayy too much, as I could do it when I was attached! Now I'm free to go anywhere! Rocks...
I'm having a bloody weekends and I'm there kinda piss of over what had happen over the day...
First I got my hair cut and rebonded my hair again after a year of long hair I went to chop it off, and I feel the lighted of loads... :)
Secondly, while was having my hair do this particular Mr Later ring me and I've got a shock when he ring me alright! I was busy and I merely reply back I call you later and I tell you my later will never come true because this sentence was he the one who has been telling me wayy much and I want him to have a taste of being ignore! *Shake heads* I guess after the talk over the Msn last night it come clear to me that I'll move on for his is merely walking in and out of my life that I paused and even cried myself to sleep... :( I've learn to let go and what matters is just being happy... :P
Thirdly, this bloody ex bf of mine, msg me over a issue on hand which I was kinda piss off! That I even knock onto the door and hit my left eyes and it hurts alright! Bestie Jennifer has since then let me rant over her and she being the nicest sister of mine who always make sure I'll be alright and never fail in helping me and giving my moral support... I love her through every bits!
Maybe closing the door of happy-ness isn't easy at all hopefully I will be brave and walk out from there! Its' been days ever since that Mr later hurt me till have lost count in how many times he has hurt me or merely ignore me or even given me a cold shoulder! My heart feel colder!
There are the times when I face my four walls, wondering why Life has to play such a twisted and cruel joke on me, to let someone so special come by my way, yet fade away after such a short time... How Life is an irony when all closest gfs are experiencing troubled times in their relationships... Yet, looking at them, I know in some ironic way, I am blessed...
I am blessed, that I've friends/ family being here with me, making sure I'm okay before they leave for work or school! :)
FYI, hasn't been feeling good ever since all these issues happen and I hope somewhere along the line, I'll pick myself up and walk briskly again! :)
Letting go is not easy, for it take times to mend the broken heart...
At the end of the day, it is not important who win is that we have all learn the lesson together...
After all that had happen recently over work,relationship, family...
我真的累了。。。
Never the less, there will always be one bestie of mine whom never fail to be with me that's no other then bestie Jennifer, I love her through every bits.
It's been days that I've learnt to let go of a certain issue which I'm really much affect, Bestie Jennifer knows what happen therefore I shouldn't reveal over here because it's P & C!
What are you thinking?? *Laughs*
Apparently, walking this journey isn't at all because I've to learn to pick myself up from where I fail and never repeat the mistake again. I ought to know that I can't bear to let this feeling just fade away however, I guess it's time to close that door that I'm longing for, for this particular Mr Later, told me that he would change I do he do so. *Cross finger*
I've no idea what had happen to me recently, I've been feeling very tired mentally and physically... :( That's why I fall asleep real fast when I'm on my bed, I guess my body can't take the tired-ness too... Fall into those random sleeps which includes dreams! *Shake head*
I know I shouldn't be thinking over the issue, but I can't help it! *Pull ears* Never the less, I'm thankful that Bestie Jennifer always bring me back to earth like what I have told her via msn last night.
Hopefully everything sail well and hope my mind won't tend to keep thinking over this Mr Later! *Sly smiles*
Well, over the next few days I'll officially be having my two day leaves and more to come I hope! I guess I shall get another leave just to rest at home because I'm dread-fully sick and tired of all that had happen! :(
♥ Guess Wallet.
♥ My Titus Watches
♥ NIKE Water Bottle
♥ Sony Ericsson C903
♥ Sony Ericsson K770i.
♥ Samsung T10 MP3.
♥ White Killer Spec.
♥ Computer
♥ My Bed.
♥ Pink and White Stuff.
♥ Baby Love
♥ Bestie Jennifer
♥ Dr Janice
♥ Mummy Dearest
♥ Da Jie
♥ Youngest Brother
♥ Maternal Grandparents
♥ All My Close/Good Friends
Her Cravings
♥ New JOB
♥ Driving License
♥ More Clothing
♥ More Accessories.
♥ Heels.
♥ Sony Camera
♥ Lappy
♥ Overseas Holiday
The bride with 8 sisters... I'm the youngest among all alright! Hurhur!
The entire lot of us!!! :)