Monday, July 2, 2007
-A Penny Of Thoughts=(
Oh well, I must admit I hasn't been sleeping for the last
24hours again... Arghx... The hell of this feelings sucks to death. Due to some personal problems, which I'm not revealing here. I can only say that, I'm feeling real
SAD=( I told myself not to think too much but I cannot, cos whenever times permits me to be free, I'll start to the negative illusion again. Sorry, but I can't help it. It has been many uncountable days, that this thinking too much has been staying and lasting for weeks=( what the hell!!!
I must say, I'm
mentally/physically stress out. I have many stress loads, I know that problems can be solve, but I'm simply lost. Leading me to a world of hell. I has been un-earthly in whatever I'm doing. My concentration simply slips off my mind, and brings me to a hell thinking. Randomly, feeling very
wistful/woozy. It's pretentious for me to keep a clear and positive mind. It's not easy, I'm suffering like hell who knows it? In fact, I'm really very maddening over myself sometimes. My intentions was to walk one step count one step, by now it's never seem easy to me.
Despite of
sitting/wondering and doing all those
self-evaluate. I keep tyring very hard to keep myself busy and not to think on those
unhappy/negative situation. In a morbid way, I'm still sad inside my heart, but at the same time I'm learning to let go of those problems I have.There are many various ways of handling stress loads. Yes, I admit, I have facing stress loads like, school, family, relationship etc. Therefore , I hope that things will happen the way it's seems to be or mend to be. Choosing the right way to solve stress loads is vital..
Eventually, I really
hope/wish that I'll be alright soon, as the mid-term test is looming, and I wish that my personal problems won't affect my examination. Many things is not within our control. Let nature take the course. If one day, those unpleasant things which I don't wish to happen, had happen, I can only accept the fact and move on with my life. It seem that my mind is all about those
unhappy/negative thoughts.
Well, I cannot predict what will happen the next day, I can only say that live your life to the fullest and be happy is virtue. Treasure what you have now, because we can't predict what will happen next. Treasure the one you loved...
Look like my life is getting complicated, what should I do? The problem lies with who? As what this Particular Doctor, used to tell me whenever I'm on MSN. That
Particular Doctor, keep encouraging and hearing my problems. Be it in school, family or even relationship, this
Particular Doctor has given tons of advices. It's the matter do I take all this advice and heed what this
Particular Doctor has been telling me. Some times, I wish that there's someone like this
particular doctor, listening to all my problems and what-nots...I wish I could learn from this
Particular Doctor, because this
particular doctor is very optimistic and this
particular doctor, handle well with his life, no matter in which area he know which is best for him.
During my difficult moments, there's always friends beside me. I must admit, I rang up my darling Jennifer at 1.30am. I rang her up because I wasn't feeling very good. So I thought of sharing my problems with her. But she was sleeping and I disturbed her. Well, I told her I'll ring her in the day later, as she'll be schooling. My friends told me via msn.
"Tomorrow will be a better day". Hence, upon blogging all this, I hope that, that
Special Someone knows how I'm feeling right now. Yes, I'm going to be busy soon, so I guess I won't be able to ring/sms him as much as I wanted. I know he'll be busy with his duties till Wed, also understand that he is really being stress-out. So I don't wish to bother him, I'll be waiting patiently everyday for him to give me a sms/call. I'll do my best in keeping myself busy, but sometimes I do think about my personal stuff. I'm a girl, who likes to sit down and think through what I can improvement on, or even doing a daily self-reflection. I believe that there's a room of improvement in everything. That
Special Someone, tell me not to be sad over him, I simply CANNOT!! No matter what upholds between us, pray that he will be alright soon.
Oh well, I'm writing this onto a paper first and which now transferring on the blog post. I took sometimes to write all this. Yes, I should be sleeping at 3am. but I'm simply not in the mood to sleep. Beside writing this, I'm also mugging down all my mountain-ful of notes and what-nots to cover. Isn't pleasant, for not sleeping for the last 24hours.
Well, will be going for the lecture this evening, hopefully I won't fall asleep or day dream during lecture time. Or I might just doze off to sleep. 24 hours didn't sleep is feeling very tedious/anguish. Either way you look at it...
Lastly, last night I rang up my lil' bro boss, the boss was my friend, when I'm working for Tekmedia. Rang him to clarify some stuff about my lil' bro. Anyway, thank you so much for the help hock=)
I can see that my brother is working very hard in this area, working life and school life is not easy. But I'm glad that he still gotten a job from
Tekmedia. No matter, how naughty he is, he is till my good lil' brother, I ought to know we do quarrels at times, but that brings us closer. Like now, he is working for
Tekmedia, I show more concern to him. Anyway, brother don't worry, people are nice at
Tekmedia and even your new colleagues in
Best Denki and your department Samsung Friends:)
*Wish me luck*=( I'm Real Upset=(
Carrie;eirrac: 7/02/2007 12:17:00 PM ♥
